I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
