so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
