My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
