I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
high people should be assigned attendants
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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