sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
