I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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