am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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