Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
