he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
