So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
