I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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