I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
