Apparently you make a good broom.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
