Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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