Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
