I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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