I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
