So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
