and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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