There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
