we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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