this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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