Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
