i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize