Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
