She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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