i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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