I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
