you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
