check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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