you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
