God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
