She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
