Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
