I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
