College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize