the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
