You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
