i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize