The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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