Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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