I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
did i just pee glitter
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
