Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
