oh god the rape fog is back!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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