so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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