I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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