why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize