Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize