He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
