he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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