We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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