Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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