just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
