Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I party with great urgency now.
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