I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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