Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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