dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
