She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
