So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
