I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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