we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
