Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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