Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
