brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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