Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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