my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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