We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
