Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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