Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
